dear ginger,

"...Gauzy apparitions might
prank your psyche or
agitate your nightmares,
but lacking

flesh and blood

they are powerless
to hurt you-cannot hope
to inflict the kind of damage
that real,
live
people do.”
Ellen Hopkins,Ghosts

How long have you been roaming
our office halls?
and why do you haunt us
as a Caucasian-looking
young girl?

How do you choose who to
show yourself to?
And when did you decide
not to reveal yourself to me?

Are you aware that recently your name
comes up in my friends' conversations
more than anyone else's?

And officemates say your name as if you're
listening or you're close by--
as if you are part of the inner circle.
But you definitely will not get an invite
to our circle's dinners and happy hours.

Are you having fun in
shutting down the office
before 7PM chimes?
Or by how creeped out we are
whenever we hear/repeat
the infamous story of you
participating in an ongoing
applicant interview?

I wonder who left you
or are you hoping
someone will come back for you?

So you keep doing what you
know best: haunting the halls
and stirring chills to the visible
and waiting willingly perhaps
til kingdom come.

If true, then you and I
have common unfinished business:
of silent longings we keep to ourselves,
of an invisible lacerating injury
caused by an untimely separation.
And so pieces of us have died---
broken and lost forever
roaming, haunting,
unseen in our wanderings.

Only, Atticus' owner did not give me my name.
But you probably whispered yours to him
when his headphones were on.

“Your mind has a way of not letting you forget things you wish you could. Especially with people. Like, you'll always try your best to forget things that people say to you or about you, but you always remember. And you'll try to forget things you've seen that no one should see, but you just can't do it. And when you try to forget someone's face, you can't get it out of your head.” John Corey Whaley, Where Things Come Back

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